Paraguay

The Rise of Paraguayan Jesus

Asunción, Paraguay

June 3rd 2024 – June 5th 2024

Table of Contents

Paraguay was the third country in our 2024 South American Tour. If you want to start from the beginning, click here.

I knew nothing about Paraguay. Actually, I knew one thing: the footballer Roque Santa Cruz. That was it, and I’m not sure that would help out much.

Early Impressions

Silvio Pettirossi International Airport was smaller and older than the airport in Buenos Aires, but that was fine, it meant we got through immigration real fast. We stepped outside and took our first couple of breathes in Asuncion. Is there anything better than those first moments in a new country? Our first two Uber’s cancelled on us as soon as they arrived at the airport but the third time was indeed a charm.

A small, old man hopped out of his small, old car and grabbed our cases. He had a warm smile and callused hands. As we drove further from the airport, it became more in line with what I was expecting from South America. It was rural and poor compared to what we had seen in Argentina. It also felt more tropical. Palms and ferns lined the streets. The dirt was a bright orange. You could just tell that in the summer, it got real hot here.

We checked in to our hotel and took a quick walk around the area.

Experiencing Paraguayan Cuisine

El Café de Acá was constantly recommended as one of the top restaurants in Asuncion, and luckily for us, it was only a 5 minute walk from the hotel. The vibes inside were great. A really homely and tropical atmosphere.

Shortly after we were handed a large, ice cold metal jug of water and a smaller cup filled with green herbs. This was Tereré, an iconic drink that dates back to the native Guarani people of Paraguay. Our waiter spoke little English and we speak little Spanish, so the explanation of how to drink it was a fun experience. Essentially, we had to pour water into the cup of herbs, wait for it to soak up, pour a little more, drink, and repeat. It was strong. An intense mint flavor hits you like a truck. Any travel fatigue I had was immediately erased. The combination of intense herbal flavors and ice cold water was incredibly refreshing. I could get down with some Tereré in the USA, lets make it a thing please.

Next up were the Mbeju, which are also very popular in Paraguay, and Paraguay, I am sorry. These were not the moves. It was like eating a combination of chalk and cheese. So dry that I found it hard to swallow. We also had a basket filled with Pastel Mandi’o (small empanadas), Bombitas de Chipa (more balls of cheese), and Paraguaya de Carne (greasy patties of soft beef). Honestly, they were all kind of meh. Nothing special, but nothing awful about them. But there was no need to worry, the main event was coming up.

Sopa Paraguaya is the National Dish of Paraguay. This is why we were here. We’d had 23 National Dishes before this, and here was number 24. Upon first glance, it looked like it would just be cornbread. However after dipping our spoon in and getting a chunk of it….Yeah, it’s actually just cheesy cornbread. I really don’t know know how else to describe it.

Diving in to that Paraguayan Sopa (cornbread)

Not to say that it was bad. It was actually quite tasty, but there’s only so much you can do with cornbread. It was moist, cheesy, and hearty. The type of wholesome dish your Grandma would make.

The Factoria Hotel

Our home for the next two nights would be the beautiful Factoria Hotel, an old factory renovated into an amazing rustic hotel. Greeting us at the entrance was a collection of antique knick knacks and photos that had been kept from the original factory. Outside was our favorite.

That night we stopped by the local brewery, Sacramento Brewing Co. The beers were okay, nothing too special, but it was an enjoyable experience, and the surrounding street area, Santisimo Sacramento, was beautiful.

My Untappd ratings out of 5 from Sacramento Brewing.

Churro Campana – Blonde: 3.50
Arriero – Porter: 4.0
Shamingo – Pale Ale: 3.75
La Chuchi – Helles: 3.25
La Correli – Red Ale: 3.25
Mita’i Churi – NEIPA: 4.25

Downtown Asuncion Tour

The next day would be a busy one. We had a lot planned, so the only way to start the day was with a nice cup of coffee at a local cafe.

That cafe would be St. Martin. We loved it here. A tiny cafe on a back road. It just felt like South America. The coffee and breakfast we had here was incredible, but the standout was definitely the Alfajores. Argentinians close your ears because you wont want to hear this. This one was better than anything we had in Buenos Aires, and was by the far the best of the trip. We could’ve spent forever here. Great coffee, great good, peaceful location. Highly recommend.

Fun fact about the photo below, it wasn’t until after I snapped the shot that I looked down and saw a dead kitten next to me. Pointing it out to Emily maybe wasn’t the best idea, and every time we laughed it ended with “Aw, but the kitten”.

Our activity for the day was a tour of downtown Asuncion by a local, Mateo. We had success using ToursbyLocals in Malaysia, and wanted to try it again. Spoiler alert, we had another incredible guide.

We arrived to our meetup point, Plaza de los Heroes, early and decided to sit in the park. Of all the things we enjoy doing on our travels, we shameless like to people watch.

Mateo showed up and introduced himself. He seemed around the same age as Emily and I, was born here in Asuncion, and loved History. This was apparent as he went into a 10 minute monologue on the founding of Asuncion. It was interesting to listen to. Living in America, especially for Emily being born there, you’re only really taught American history. Hearing in depth historical events about a smaller country like Paraguay that, to this day, affect the country, brings so much perspective about the larger world. Anyway, this monologue transitioned into the building next to us, Panteon Nacional de los Heroes. It was here that all the founders of Paraguay, and those who fought for its independence are buried.

That was the crazy thing about Paraguay. Its history is plagued with people and countries trying to invade them. You could see this best at Casa de la Independencia Museum. Mateo told us this is one of the only original buildings from Asuncion’s colonial past before the Spanish burnt the city to the ground. I wasn’t joking about everyone trying to invade them. The Spanish invaded. Argentina, Brazil, and Uruguay formed an alliance in the 1860’s to invade. Bolivia has tried to invade (I got the hint that people didn’t really like Bolivians here). But here Paraguay still stood as its own independent country, and this little courtyard with a single tree represented the power of its people to fight. It was quite beautiful really.

We continued walking and talking around the city. Asuncion was an interesting, little place. It seemed modern, yet at the same time not. Most buildings didn’t seem to aged, but the streets and sidewalks were filled with holes.

The tour climaxed at the Presidential Palace, named after Carlos Antonio Lopez, the first President of Paraguay. Mateo was very proud of this place and the story he told. He had been telling us about President Lopez the entire time, starting at the mausoleum where he is held, and now here we were at his massive palace. You could tell this was an important man to Paraguayans, especially History enthusiasts like Mateo.

Emily causing chaos in the old courthouse

The tour had been long, and it was a hot day. I asked Mateo if you every get used to the heat. “Never” was his reply. It wasn’t even the hot season yet and I was drenched in sweat. Our bodies and brains were ready to tap out. Luckily for us, the last stop involved a bucket of ice cold Paraguayan beer. I had drank a Pilsnen the other night at the hotel, but it hit different now that I was close to death. We sat, drank, and chatted about our lives. At one point I had referred to the USA as ‘America’. Mateo was not a fan of this, “You are not America. We are also America.” I couldn’t fault him, he was right. Different perspectives like that are what make travelling so great.

The Story of Paraguayan Jesus and Club Guarani

We love to visit local football games wherever we go. Well, it’s more like I love to go and Emily likes to see me happy. So naturally, we found there was a local team (Club Guarani) playing and we wanted to go. Now let me tell you, it felt like an entire adventure trying to get into this game. Let’s start off by rewinding to before the tour of Asuncion with Mateo.

As you may have read earlier, we took an Uber to go downtown, but before going to downtown, we stopped by the the Club Guarani store where the plan was to buy a shirt and figure out how to get tickets. Something to note, I’d tried and failed multiple times the previous night to get tickets online. The Uber drops us off outside the store and drives off quickly. It didn’t look like a bad area, there was just nobody around, and much to our luck, the door was locked and the shop closed. Great. We stood around and tried to think of what to do. Just as we were about to order an Uber to take us to downtown, a man decked out in Club Guarani gear with long hair and a beard showed up. This was Paraguayan Jesus. This man spoke no English and we spoke no Spanish, but he did everything possible to try and communicate with us. We bought a shirt and then asked about getting tickets for the game later.

We managed to understand that the ticketing department are at lunch and would be here in 15 minutes. Okay great, we went to go wait outside, but were met with shaking heads, “No, no”, as they pointed inside. About 20 minutes later, Paraguayan Jesus came over to us with somebody on the phone. He had called one of his friends that spoke English who told us that we would have to get tickets before the game at a location I didn’t understand.

Fast forward to present time. We’ve done the tour and have Ubered back to the stadium. I have no idea on how to get tickets. I ask one of the many security guards how to get tickets but am meant with blank stares. Then I get a tap on the back. I turn around and it is Paraguayan Jesus. He asks on his Translate app if we have tickets. I shake my head and say No. “Come”. He cancels his Uber and we march down the street to assemble the Avengers. He talks to 2 guys selling tickets and shows how much it is. I don’t have small enough bills and only a couple larger ones. At this point, I don’t care. “Just take it”. “No” Paraguayan Jesus says as a dealer comes out of a nearby Casino and offers to split our larger bill. He comes back with smaller bills and Paraguayan Jesus counts out everything, shows us the bill he gives to the guy, and gives us the rest of our money back. We shake hands and off he went. It was amazing and we will speak of his legend for years to come.

We went back to the many security guards decked out in full gear holding assault rifles, and proudly handed our tickets. We went through a metal detector and down and concrete tunnel which lead into a large concrete area filled with rubble and a single tree. We both had a giddy laugh. It had taken a lot to get here.

We had just barely walked in when we heard a lady talking and then “Chica!”. We turned to see two older ladies wrapped up in Club Guarani gear ask us to take a photo of them. We even got a photo taken of us.

The stadium, Estadio Rogelio Livieres, was old but nice. It was mostly concrete throughout and had one stand larger than the others.

We sat next to some large flags and banners that took up the entire section. As soon as the game began, a large group of people with drums, trumpets, and other instruments took up the area and started singing and playing beats. It didn’t stop for the entire game, South Americans know how to party.

Ay halftime I saw a man walking around with a large plastic bag. Watching him for a bit, I realized that this was Chipa, yet another cheese bread that is a very popular street food. I waved him over and bought one. It was definitely cheese bread, but it hit the spot. And best of all, our entire conversation was in Spanish. “Cuanto?” “Cuatro mil” “Gracias” “Gracias”. We truly are people of the world.

Club Guarani won 3-2.

Oh and the Uber back to the hotel? My Roque Santa Cruz ball knowledge finally came in handy as the driver and I conversed about Paraguayan football in our limited ability to communicate. I knew it would be useful.